I wish I knew what you were thinking

On all those nights I was next to you

I wish I knew what you were doing

Now that I’m so far away from you

I wish I was a seer

I would use a reconstituted ball

Just to catch a glimpse of the future

And see if I meant anything to you at all
But I can’t

I’m no Ms. Cleo

No I’m not even

An anti-hero

I’m just some guy

Who managed to not die

When times were black
I wish I were better

Than I am today

I wish I were something to someone in anyway

Instead I’m just a guy

Who’s something like a disease

Everything I touch

Turns ashes to ashes

And dust to dust
Maybe brighter days are rising behind this mountain

Maybe I’ll see you again

The days I haven’t been counting

I must confess

That I have lost hope

Not just in some thought of us

But that I will tie that rope

Around the tire and the tree

That’s the way it is in the movies

But movies are just fantasies
I wait for winter

Not only in season

My life’s clock is ticking

But I must admit I’m not missing you

For memory has faded your face

Years went by

And now it just seems silly to wait

I say good things come to those who create

So I write this poem

And try to not become irate

I wonder what you were thinking

When I looked at your face

The last time I saw you

There was no goodbye

Just my empty place

Maybe that’s why I feel hollow

As I start to swallow this mood

Trying to end this confundus

Without acid tears

I’ll think I’ll say fuck it

And just fill my soul with beer

Because it brings good cheer to spirits that need lifting
All I know

Is that on myself I’m not quitting

It doesn’t matter the punishment

Or how charged the scroll

I owe it to the memory of the man I once was

To soldier on

Whether it lead to you

Hell

Or Heaven Above